March 26, 2008

Its been a while since I decided to start writing via this website. You know I have a job that I have a whole lot of time to think and I think about what I want to write each and everyday. The problem is I'm so damn tired when I get home from work that I just say "screw it" and not do this. Well I decided to write today because life doesn't get any shorter and I don't want to miss out on the ability God gave me.
I was diagnosed several months ago with lupus. My mind plays a lot of games when thinking about this disease and what it may do to me. Years ago people with lupus didn't have a good survival level, it's different now, survival is much better for us. The main problem with this disease is the constant fatigue and the constant pain that one is in 24/7. I guess that's the reason I don't get onto this blog when I get home from work, I'm just so frickin tired.
I really have no idea what it's like to not be in pain. Chronic pain is something I've lived with for as long as I can remember. I told someone the other day that the day I do wake up without pain I will be in heaven. That's kind of sad, but yet good. Right? Anyway, it sucks. Pain takes a persons energy away, thus the problem of fatigue. Kind of a catch 22 wouldn't ya say?
Well, if there is anyone out there living with chronic pain no matter what is causing it, please write me and let me know how you deal with it. I'd love to talk to others who may have such problems thus being a help to one another.
Saturday I'm going to a workshop on how to live with lupus. I told my one daughter maybe I'll meet another lonely sicky. I know that's not funny to some, but to those of us who are alone and sick, well a good laugh does help. Anyway, I'm looking forward to learning about what others are doing to help cope with their illness. Anything will help for sure.
I'll close for now. If anyone reads this, have a good day. Please feel free to leave any suggestions you might have on coping with pain, fatigue or the other problems that go along with it. God Bless and I'll be back soon.

My Written Word

Since I was a kid I always wrote in journels. I look through them a lot of times and see where I have been and where I have gone, physically and emotionally. I must have at least 50 different books. Sometimes I would write for a long periods of time and then other times I would go months, sometimes a year, before I wrote again, but I wrote. Over the past several years, I have been having problems with my health and because of that, writing became hard to do. My hands got cramped up and I just gave up. My daughter turned me on to this blogging site so I have deceived that this will be my new writing media. Typing does not seem to bother me, at least not like the writing did. I'm not assuring you that my spelling will be right all the time, but you'll get the grip of what I mean if you read these. Hopefully it will help not just you reading them, but will help me writing them. A quick note to my daughter, "Puck, you can fix the spelling and grammer if you'd like LOL!!!". So anyway I'll write, publish, and just keep writing. Any comments or additional thoughts will be appreciated from anyone who reads this. Remember journelling is a good thing to do, so if you've never done it, give it a try. It does help release things that you may have bottled up. Happy Journelling. God Bless.

The Power of Words

I just got done reading "Nineteen Minutes". I have been reading since, well lets just say a long time. Fiction, non-fiction, christian writers, non-christian, even some self-help books. I can only say that I have never been touched by a book like this one. This book maybe fiction, but it touches an area that this country has dealt with for several years, that being the end result of bullying. Our words are something we cannot take back when we say them. We use them to degrade, belittle, and pretty much hurt those we know and don't know. A person maybe beautiful on the outside, but the words that come from their mouths make them ugly and disgusting. This book shows the ugliness of words and what it did to otherwise normal young people. I wrote an e-mail to the writer and even expressed to her that this book should be a required read for every young person, every admin of schools, and every parent. In other words, we all need to read it to understand that our words are dangerous if we let them be. Things have been rough for me over the years because of things said to me, but I also know that there were times that I made life rough for others with my words. After reading this book I am determined to watch my mouth. I am determined to say nothing if I have nothing good, or at least positive to say to others. Giving another person your opinion can be good and in many ways, helpful. It's the way and the manner it is said and the way the person receiving the opinion perceives it. That person may take those words and use them for good or may use them to destroy themselves and others. Please, take the time to read "Nineteen Minutes". It will give you a whole new look at the things that you say. Tell others to read it. Make a difference in your world with the words you use. I want to and will do my best to do so. God Bless and keep the good words flowing.