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My Journal

I don't know if anyone will read these but I am doing it for me. Getting out a lot of frustration and hurt and sadness that I am feeling at this time. Things out here are what one would say, "rough", right now. I am presently living with my daughter, who I never thought would be deceitful to me, and finding out that her life the past few years has been nothing but deceit. She has a "husband" and I use that phase with a slight chock, who has probably worked a year total since she met him. He is a liar, a cheat, a user and basically a bum. She continues to stay with him and is now days away from having a child. She left him a year ago because she did find out he was not working when he said he was. He came out here to Colorado and is doing the same bullshit he did in Indiana. She is now defending him hand over foot. I have been here 13 weeks, and he has yet brought home a paycheck. She continues to work full time even tho she is 9 months pregnant. He is a real "tool". I have now started to check into places to live as this is not going to work. I cannot even image what will happen when this child comes along and she asks him for help. I am 55 years old, have Lupus and work 40 hours a week. I cannot and will not be a babysitter or her and this childs support. She will be going back to Indiana if this turns South because of his lack of money, work, or whatever you want to say.
Disappointment in her goes beyond anything I can even say at this point. Her choices when it came to a husband is so disgusting it again is beyond words. Why would you want to have nothing, not only for yourself but for a child? Sad is the word I can only describe at this time.
Only time will tell what is going to happen. Whoever may read this, please pray for this family. It is greatly needed!!!

When Life Throws You A Curve Ball!!!!!!!!!!!!

That phrase has been around for a long time and can mean many different things. To me, it means exactly what it says. I've been out here in Denver now for 13 weeks. I have seen sights that words cannot even describe. These sunrises and sunsets out here are different each day and night. The mountains can be blue one day, and white the next. There are days you cannot even see them because of the clouds or snow and other days they are so close you can touch them. Elk, fox, and coyotes area everywhere. This state is beyond words. One day though, all that beauty can be dashed because of the inconsiderate actions of those around you. You believe in people, people that you thought were honorable and truthful and then, bam, that is shattered by deceit and lies. That is the curve ball, that is what causes life to be harder then what it should be. I am sad right now and have no idea when that sadness will end. I must, must, look at this beauty and realize that something good will come of all of this. How long will this continue? When will the light at the end of the tunnel shine again. Maybe tomorrow morning when I watch the sun rise. Maybe tomorrow morning God will give a answer. Not sure. Just need to keep praying. Just believe in God!!!!!!!!!!