Friday, February 29, 2008
The Pain our Words Can Cause
I starting reading a book several weeks ago, Nineteen Minutes. This book sparked something in me that I wish I could stand at the top of the world and shout out, "STOP BULLYING". This book goes into a mind of a person who lived with "torture of the tongue", and then acted out on it. Everyone has heard the quote, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me". Are you kidding? Words are the most destructive thing that we were ever blessed with. We have taken a great gift, the gift of word, and used it in the most hurtful, hateful ways we can image. As I have been reading this book, I can recall when I was a first grader being made fun of by a girl who was several years older than me. I could pick that girl out of a crowd even now, 40+ years later. If we can teach our children, whether they are ours or ones that pass through our lives, anything, we must teach them to be kind. To take the differences that each of us have and look at them as unique, a person to learn from, a friend, but for sure, a person with feelings. One of the character in the book says this, "Ask ten people, and half of them won't even be able to remember something concrete from high school-they've blocked it out. The other half will recall an incredibly painful or embarrassing moment. They stick like glue." Have you ever been the cause of the painful or embarrassing moment that will stick with someone forever? I'm sure I have, but you see, your not the one who remembers it, its the person you've said it to. The main character in this book is a young person who since his first day of school, had been tormented by other children leading up to a massive killing of his classmates. How many real situations like this have happened in this country? Too many in my opinion. In all of the cases of these needless acts of violence the person or persons involved were bullied or were outcasts. In the act of killings those who have bullied them, others usually get killed because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Folks we need to look at what we say, how we say it, and to whom we say it. Children listen, they listen to our racial, ethic, and gender comments. They repeat what they hear. Don't be the reason for a young person to load up a gun and kill because of words that have destroyed their self esteem. Next time you see or hear someone bullying another, step in and stop the process, you may be saving a life in the process. Teach those around you, and yourself, that words are a powerful thing, use them for good, not to hurt. This world will be better place if our words become something useful, any maybe the killing of life and of self esteem will stop.
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2 comments:
Wow mom...this was a good one. Glad you wrote it! I hope others read it and are moved as much as I was! Love ya momma!
Great post! I love your blog!!
This rang true with me. Words hurt worse than a physical attack, in many ways. When I was in highschool, I remember a guy who slapped me - I reared back, and slugged him back. We were friends after that. But when I was in 1st grade, I was constantly rejected by the girls in my class, always reminded of how I didn't fit into their "clubs." They continued to "reject" me all through our junior high years, but in high school, they finally kind of came around, and I accepted them in with open arms - but never forgetting how they hurt me for all those years. Even today, my trust in other females have been tainted, and its hard for me to trust people in general, and I'm always second guessing their motives behind words, EVEN MY HUSBAND. How bad is that?!?! Words will forever ring in ears and hearts. Its rare that I remember a compliment, but I will always remember a hateful or degrading comment that was flung at me.
Another thing this makes me think of - there are just some words you can not EVER take back if you didn't mean to say them in the first place, but spoke out of anger or frustration. This is one thing I have learned NOT to do, especially in my marriage. I've had a rough go in my 3 years of marriage - long story.... great husband, but just some family issues that don't shine so bright with me - and there have been times where I've conjured up some great big HORRIBLE things to say, and THANK GOD for discretion, because before the words were to escape my lips, I was able to stop my tongue, because I knew that once I said them, I knew that my marriage would forever take a different course. It wouldn't mean that we wouldn't be together any more, but 30 years down the road, he would still remember the horrible thing I said at that moment. There are just SOME THINGS YOU DON'T SAY, no matter how angry you are because it will forever change the course of a relationship. Words can't be grabbed back, like spilled beans on the floor.
Great post!!! I'm looking forward to reading more! Be blessed!!!
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