Christmas 2009

It's hard to believe that Christmas is just days away. I am finding myself in a new city, new job, new surroundings this Christmas. I've been in Denver now for 5 months. Unbelievable. It's been a rough ride some days, but I am glad I am here. I have seen things out here that I only saw in post cards, or books. The beauty out here is something that only God could create.
I find myself with 2 grandkids this year. One that is only 3 weeks old. My 1 year old came and visited a couple of weeks ago and I was glad for that. He is walking and trying to talk. It was fun having him and his parents here, even tho it was only a couple of days.
Anyway, God has been good to me. Things are tough financially for me right now, but oh well. It's got to get better, right? I believe it will. Just have to believe and wait on God. He has it in his hand.
Well, who ever may read this Have a Happy Christmas and a Great New Year. See you in 2010. Keep me in your prayers as I keep you in mine. God Bless.

Coffee Shop Stops

My Journal

I don't know if anyone will read these but I am doing it for me. Getting out a lot of frustration and hurt and sadness that I am feeling at this time. Things out here are what one would say, "rough", right now. I am presently living with my daughter, who I never thought would be deceitful to me, and finding out that her life the past few years has been nothing but deceit. She has a "husband" and I use that phase with a slight chock, who has probably worked a year total since she met him. He is a liar, a cheat, a user and basically a bum. She continues to stay with him and is now days away from having a child. She left him a year ago because she did find out he was not working when he said he was. He came out here to Colorado and is doing the same bullshit he did in Indiana. She is now defending him hand over foot. I have been here 13 weeks, and he has yet brought home a paycheck. She continues to work full time even tho she is 9 months pregnant. He is a real "tool". I have now started to check into places to live as this is not going to work. I cannot even image what will happen when this child comes along and she asks him for help. I am 55 years old, have Lupus and work 40 hours a week. I cannot and will not be a babysitter or her and this childs support. She will be going back to Indiana if this turns South because of his lack of money, work, or whatever you want to say.
Disappointment in her goes beyond anything I can even say at this point. Her choices when it came to a husband is so disgusting it again is beyond words. Why would you want to have nothing, not only for yourself but for a child? Sad is the word I can only describe at this time.
Only time will tell what is going to happen. Whoever may read this, please pray for this family. It is greatly needed!!!

When Life Throws You A Curve Ball!!!!!!!!!!!!

That phrase has been around for a long time and can mean many different things. To me, it means exactly what it says. I've been out here in Denver now for 13 weeks. I have seen sights that words cannot even describe. These sunrises and sunsets out here are different each day and night. The mountains can be blue one day, and white the next. There are days you cannot even see them because of the clouds or snow and other days they are so close you can touch them. Elk, fox, and coyotes area everywhere. This state is beyond words. One day though, all that beauty can be dashed because of the inconsiderate actions of those around you. You believe in people, people that you thought were honorable and truthful and then, bam, that is shattered by deceit and lies. That is the curve ball, that is what causes life to be harder then what it should be. I am sad right now and have no idea when that sadness will end. I must, must, look at this beauty and realize that something good will come of all of this. How long will this continue? When will the light at the end of the tunnel shine again. Maybe tomorrow morning when I watch the sun rise. Maybe tomorrow morning God will give a answer. Not sure. Just need to keep praying. Just believe in God!!!!!!!!!!

HERE I GO

Well here I go. I got a job less than two weeks after moving to Denver. Some of those back in South Bend didn't think I'd make it here and I'd be back to South Bend, I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! The job I got is once again a bus driver but it is with a company I can only hope is not as stupid as Transpo was and still is.
Physically I can only say that I'm still not feeling very well, but that will come in due time I'm sure. I'm really having a lot of problems with my legs hurting, but I think it's because I have been doing a lot of walking which I didn't do back in sb.
I'm hoping that the friends I prayed about will come around now that I have a job. I just want to find people to hang out with, maybe even a biker buddy. FUN FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm thinking about going to Estes Park next Monday and Tuesday for a overnighter. It just depends on the weather. The weather channel is saying it may rain. The weather out here is goofy so I'll just wait until Saturday to decide. Estes Park in at the base of the Rocky Mountains and absolutely beautiful. Just have to wait and see.
Borus went to his first kennel stay out here. He did good. Got some of that built up energy out of him. It's a nice place and they said he did real good.
OK. Well, I'll close for know. Next entry. Either after Estes Park or my first day of work!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Start

Well, I really decided on the biggy this time. I'm almost 55 years old and decided that it was time to make a move. What kind of move you ask? It was the big one. I left my job of 4 years, moved from the town I've lived in for the past forever, and moved to Denver Colorado. WOW!!!!!!!!! Crazy you say? Wayout there you might think? Yah that's it in a nut shell. I had had it with my job, my life in South Bend couldn't have been more unlife like and my health was taking the shits.

So here I am. In Denver, Colorado. Beautiful mountains, clean air and NO HUMIDITY!!!!!!!!!!! Now you might ask, do I have a job? Do I have a place to live? Is there anyone out here I know? Well to the first question, no. The others, yes. I have already started to apply for jobs but more than that I looked into going back to school so I don't kill myself driving a bus. I want to get my degree in medical billing and coding. I have some credits in the field, but am waiting to see if they transfer to the school I'm looking at. I'm also looking into to taking tai chai classes for the stiffness I suffer from and then I also want to look into going back to church too.

Lots going on and just have to keep going and not let little things discourage me. Hey, I even took my first motorcycle ride up into the foothills the other day. GO MOTORCYCLE MOMMA!!!

I'll keep you, whoever may read this, informed of my progress. I plan for it to be GOOD!!!!!!

Church

Don't let the title chase you away, please. I read a lot, I mean a lot. I read fictions mainly, but a couple of weeks I got tired of reading fiction, was looking around the new released non-fiction and came across a book titled "Sunday in America" written by Suzanne Strempek Shea. Wow!!!!!! I cannot tell you how this one touched me, as much if not more than "Nineteen Minutes" that I blogged about several months ago. Mrs. Shea was brought up a strict Catholic. She was told all her childhood life that if she entered another type of church, she'd be going straight to hell. Been there, done that, so of course I decided this one was for me.
Mrs. Shea went on a year long visit to a different church each Sunday that she could across the United States and Hawaii. She visited faiths of every type. From A to Z in cities small and large. She visited churches that had famous people who attended them. Jimmy Carter, Joel Osteem, even our upcoming presidential runner, Barack O. (sorry not sure how to spell his last name, but you all know who I mean). She went to churches where there were thousands, and churches where there were three or four people attending. She heard the good, the bad, and the ugly. Wow!!!!!! I just can't stop saying this. She was touched by words spoken by ministers, and those who attended. She saw people in their best and in their worse. In the end though she came with a belief that I would like to live by and hopefully will help me find my faith again as it did her. After visiting church after church, these words were what she felt all of this traveling and listening and learning taught her. "We are always in God's house, wherever we find ourselves". It's nice to be with others, to be able to talk and visit. It's good to listen to the teaching of God's word by someone who has a bit more knowledge than we may have. But in the end, we really are with God everywhere and He is with us. That makes me feel good, real good. I haven't been to church for a long while. Yes, I went on Easter, but so did everyone else. I haven't been able to find or I should say have not let myself find a church to attend because of my fear of being hurt again as I did in the past. Do I really need to find a church? Do I need to attend a church to feel the presence of God? I don't think so. It would be nice to have others to talk to or sing with or learn with, but to feel the presence of God? No, He's with me now. He's with me at work, when I'm asleep, when I'm alone, He's with me always. So if you're having problems with your faith, with your church, or with God in general, pick up "Sunday in America" read it, savor it and then just love God, He loves you.