When Life Throws You A Curve Ball!!!!!!!!!!!!

That phrase has been around for a long time and can mean many different things. To me, it means exactly what it says. I've been out here in Denver now for 13 weeks. I have seen sights that words cannot even describe. These sunrises and sunsets out here are different each day and night. The mountains can be blue one day, and white the next. There are days you cannot even see them because of the clouds or snow and other days they are so close you can touch them. Elk, fox, and coyotes area everywhere. This state is beyond words. One day though, all that beauty can be dashed because of the inconsiderate actions of those around you. You believe in people, people that you thought were honorable and truthful and then, bam, that is shattered by deceit and lies. That is the curve ball, that is what causes life to be harder then what it should be. I am sad right now and have no idea when that sadness will end. I must, must, look at this beauty and realize that something good will come of all of this. How long will this continue? When will the light at the end of the tunnel shine again. Maybe tomorrow morning when I watch the sun rise. Maybe tomorrow morning God will give a answer. Not sure. Just need to keep praying. Just believe in God!!!!!!!!!!

HERE I GO

Well here I go. I got a job less than two weeks after moving to Denver. Some of those back in South Bend didn't think I'd make it here and I'd be back to South Bend, I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! The job I got is once again a bus driver but it is with a company I can only hope is not as stupid as Transpo was and still is.
Physically I can only say that I'm still not feeling very well, but that will come in due time I'm sure. I'm really having a lot of problems with my legs hurting, but I think it's because I have been doing a lot of walking which I didn't do back in sb.
I'm hoping that the friends I prayed about will come around now that I have a job. I just want to find people to hang out with, maybe even a biker buddy. FUN FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm thinking about going to Estes Park next Monday and Tuesday for a overnighter. It just depends on the weather. The weather channel is saying it may rain. The weather out here is goofy so I'll just wait until Saturday to decide. Estes Park in at the base of the Rocky Mountains and absolutely beautiful. Just have to wait and see.
Borus went to his first kennel stay out here. He did good. Got some of that built up energy out of him. It's a nice place and they said he did real good.
OK. Well, I'll close for know. Next entry. Either after Estes Park or my first day of work!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Start

Well, I really decided on the biggy this time. I'm almost 55 years old and decided that it was time to make a move. What kind of move you ask? It was the big one. I left my job of 4 years, moved from the town I've lived in for the past forever, and moved to Denver Colorado. WOW!!!!!!!!! Crazy you say? Wayout there you might think? Yah that's it in a nut shell. I had had it with my job, my life in South Bend couldn't have been more unlife like and my health was taking the shits.

So here I am. In Denver, Colorado. Beautiful mountains, clean air and NO HUMIDITY!!!!!!!!!!! Now you might ask, do I have a job? Do I have a place to live? Is there anyone out here I know? Well to the first question, no. The others, yes. I have already started to apply for jobs but more than that I looked into going back to school so I don't kill myself driving a bus. I want to get my degree in medical billing and coding. I have some credits in the field, but am waiting to see if they transfer to the school I'm looking at. I'm also looking into to taking tai chai classes for the stiffness I suffer from and then I also want to look into going back to church too.

Lots going on and just have to keep going and not let little things discourage me. Hey, I even took my first motorcycle ride up into the foothills the other day. GO MOTORCYCLE MOMMA!!!

I'll keep you, whoever may read this, informed of my progress. I plan for it to be GOOD!!!!!!

Church

Don't let the title chase you away, please. I read a lot, I mean a lot. I read fictions mainly, but a couple of weeks I got tired of reading fiction, was looking around the new released non-fiction and came across a book titled "Sunday in America" written by Suzanne Strempek Shea. Wow!!!!!! I cannot tell you how this one touched me, as much if not more than "Nineteen Minutes" that I blogged about several months ago. Mrs. Shea was brought up a strict Catholic. She was told all her childhood life that if she entered another type of church, she'd be going straight to hell. Been there, done that, so of course I decided this one was for me.
Mrs. Shea went on a year long visit to a different church each Sunday that she could across the United States and Hawaii. She visited faiths of every type. From A to Z in cities small and large. She visited churches that had famous people who attended them. Jimmy Carter, Joel Osteem, even our upcoming presidential runner, Barack O. (sorry not sure how to spell his last name, but you all know who I mean). She went to churches where there were thousands, and churches where there were three or four people attending. She heard the good, the bad, and the ugly. Wow!!!!!! I just can't stop saying this. She was touched by words spoken by ministers, and those who attended. She saw people in their best and in their worse. In the end though she came with a belief that I would like to live by and hopefully will help me find my faith again as it did her. After visiting church after church, these words were what she felt all of this traveling and listening and learning taught her. "We are always in God's house, wherever we find ourselves". It's nice to be with others, to be able to talk and visit. It's good to listen to the teaching of God's word by someone who has a bit more knowledge than we may have. But in the end, we really are with God everywhere and He is with us. That makes me feel good, real good. I haven't been to church for a long while. Yes, I went on Easter, but so did everyone else. I haven't been able to find or I should say have not let myself find a church to attend because of my fear of being hurt again as I did in the past. Do I really need to find a church? Do I need to attend a church to feel the presence of God? I don't think so. It would be nice to have others to talk to or sing with or learn with, but to feel the presence of God? No, He's with me now. He's with me at work, when I'm asleep, when I'm alone, He's with me always. So if you're having problems with your faith, with your church, or with God in general, pick up "Sunday in America" read it, savor it and then just love God, He loves you.

March 26, 2008

Its been a while since I decided to start writing via this website. You know I have a job that I have a whole lot of time to think and I think about what I want to write each and everyday. The problem is I'm so damn tired when I get home from work that I just say "screw it" and not do this. Well I decided to write today because life doesn't get any shorter and I don't want to miss out on the ability God gave me.
I was diagnosed several months ago with lupus. My mind plays a lot of games when thinking about this disease and what it may do to me. Years ago people with lupus didn't have a good survival level, it's different now, survival is much better for us. The main problem with this disease is the constant fatigue and the constant pain that one is in 24/7. I guess that's the reason I don't get onto this blog when I get home from work, I'm just so frickin tired.
I really have no idea what it's like to not be in pain. Chronic pain is something I've lived with for as long as I can remember. I told someone the other day that the day I do wake up without pain I will be in heaven. That's kind of sad, but yet good. Right? Anyway, it sucks. Pain takes a persons energy away, thus the problem of fatigue. Kind of a catch 22 wouldn't ya say?
Well, if there is anyone out there living with chronic pain no matter what is causing it, please write me and let me know how you deal with it. I'd love to talk to others who may have such problems thus being a help to one another.
Saturday I'm going to a workshop on how to live with lupus. I told my one daughter maybe I'll meet another lonely sicky. I know that's not funny to some, but to those of us who are alone and sick, well a good laugh does help. Anyway, I'm looking forward to learning about what others are doing to help cope with their illness. Anything will help for sure.
I'll close for now. If anyone reads this, have a good day. Please feel free to leave any suggestions you might have on coping with pain, fatigue or the other problems that go along with it. God Bless and I'll be back soon.

My Written Word

Since I was a kid I always wrote in journels. I look through them a lot of times and see where I have been and where I have gone, physically and emotionally. I must have at least 50 different books. Sometimes I would write for a long periods of time and then other times I would go months, sometimes a year, before I wrote again, but I wrote. Over the past several years, I have been having problems with my health and because of that, writing became hard to do. My hands got cramped up and I just gave up. My daughter turned me on to this blogging site so I have deceived that this will be my new writing media. Typing does not seem to bother me, at least not like the writing did. I'm not assuring you that my spelling will be right all the time, but you'll get the grip of what I mean if you read these. Hopefully it will help not just you reading them, but will help me writing them. A quick note to my daughter, "Puck, you can fix the spelling and grammer if you'd like LOL!!!". So anyway I'll write, publish, and just keep writing. Any comments or additional thoughts will be appreciated from anyone who reads this. Remember journelling is a good thing to do, so if you've never done it, give it a try. It does help release things that you may have bottled up. Happy Journelling. God Bless.

The Power of Words

I just got done reading "Nineteen Minutes". I have been reading since, well lets just say a long time. Fiction, non-fiction, christian writers, non-christian, even some self-help books. I can only say that I have never been touched by a book like this one. This book maybe fiction, but it touches an area that this country has dealt with for several years, that being the end result of bullying. Our words are something we cannot take back when we say them. We use them to degrade, belittle, and pretty much hurt those we know and don't know. A person maybe beautiful on the outside, but the words that come from their mouths make them ugly and disgusting. This book shows the ugliness of words and what it did to otherwise normal young people. I wrote an e-mail to the writer and even expressed to her that this book should be a required read for every young person, every admin of schools, and every parent. In other words, we all need to read it to understand that our words are dangerous if we let them be. Things have been rough for me over the years because of things said to me, but I also know that there were times that I made life rough for others with my words. After reading this book I am determined to watch my mouth. I am determined to say nothing if I have nothing good, or at least positive to say to others. Giving another person your opinion can be good and in many ways, helpful. It's the way and the manner it is said and the way the person receiving the opinion perceives it. That person may take those words and use them for good or may use them to destroy themselves and others. Please, take the time to read "Nineteen Minutes". It will give you a whole new look at the things that you say. Tell others to read it. Make a difference in your world with the words you use. I want to and will do my best to do so. God Bless and keep the good words flowing.